Road feeling simulation is one of the key technologies for the development of the steer-by-wire system. In order to improve the quality of the road feeling simulation, the road feeling torque of the steer-by-wire system was designed based on the principle of steering resisting torque generation of the traditional steering system and the method of calculating the dynamics model. In order to reduce the torque pulsation of the road feeling motor caused by uncertain system parameters and sensor noise, a vector control strategy for the road feeling motor based on the active disturbance rejection control algorithm was designed, and the control parameters in the active disturbance rejection control algorithm were optimized using the particle swarm optimization algorithm. Based on the steering wheel middle position maneuvering stability test and the steering-effort test, the road feeling simulation effect was verified. The results show that the active disturbance rejection control based on particle swarm optimization algorithm has strong adaptability, and can effectively realize the accurate simulation of road feeling. It can effectively reduce the burden on the driver. The relevant research can provide a reference for the design of the steer-by-wire.